Book of poetry.

256 pages.

20$. email for ordering info. hart@tawdryproductions.com

LET YOUR BACKBONE SLIDE

i was on the train back to toronto and the lady beside me told me when she was younger she used to smoke hash outside of a mall in toronto and maestro fresh wes was the security guard.
and he would kick them out
i guess he was uptight back then.
that was before he let his backbone slide

I said

the rapper snow used to be a zamboni driver.

JUST LIKE MAGIC

As I let my hair down
And put this cowboy hat
Upon my head
I raise this can
Of carling to my lips
And let the golden liquor fall into
My tonsils
As the smoke raises
From my peter Jackson into the air

And some would say this is far from magic

But just like every tear from
The eye
Does not deserve compassion

Every drip of liquor
From a lip
Does not deserve
Contempt

You will see me in the streets
Throwing bottles

Screaming
And laughing
My way out of trouble
Into cabs

Just like magic

FREDDY KROOGER

freddy krugger used to give
his snots
nicknames
he called one
davey nose rocket
and then this other
green bitch
and then
freddy booger

he thought he was
the wittiest guy ever
but he wasnt
he was off in dreamland.

BEAUTIFUL

I have a friend who gets six pairs
Of free nike shoes a month
He sells them to me for cheap, or if no one buys them
And he doesn’t like the shoes
Simply gives them to me

I have another friend
Who gets clothing samples
To show to stores
And when hes done
I get some of the free samples

All my clothes
From the feet up
Are brand new

Shoes with tiel laces
Metallic gold lined sweatshirts

Yesterday I played poker,
Five dollars of dimes in

I left with two dollars in dimes

And this morning
With no food in the fridge
A hangover in my head
At eleven am
Buying two cans of beer
With dimes
And using empties to cover the rest

i’d never felt so low
and I’ve never
Looked so goddamn good

SUMMER SPRING AND FALL

Well if johnny winter
Was an albino
I guess
Ricky summers
Was an asian
Yellow as the sun
And john fall the second
A legless man
With a small misshapen skull
Resembling a mini
Eiffell tower
And theres
Jenny spring
Bouncier then the rest
Bounding from bed to bed
Climbing
Up elevator shafts
In Madison square high rises

A better whore then most
Exiting the elevator doors
To another shaft
Waiting

At full attention

NeXT IN LINE

I was in line today
At the library

There was a thirty year old
Asian woman at the counter checking her
Two books out
And behind her was a forty year old honkie
In a yellow slicker
With a large stack of oversized rectangular books

The asian women said to him
WOW
That’s a lot of books

He replied
Gotta keep those
Neurons firing

There was oil painting for beginners
Web design for beginners
How to manage money for……
Understanding the stock market
How to make it in the new world
And many more

I don’t think it was a matter of
The firing of neurons
I think simply
He had been fired
From his menial job

He finished
And I a 24 year old honk
pushed my large stack of books to the clerk

I hadn’t been fired
I quit

SHE LIKED TO FUCK IN DARK ALLEY WAYS

She didn’t have hair like sunsets in Tibet
Her voice did not shame song birds
Her movements were nothing like
The cool calm wind
Her eyes were vapid and black
Her conversation filled with slurred
words

Her body wasn’t special
And really

The most beautiful thing about her was
That she liked to fuck in dark alleys

And right now
Sitting here
Fairly drunk
And completely alone

She seems like
the most beautiful women in the world

suCKER PUNCH

When I was 13
I had a friend who
Was 18
He told me when you throw a punch
Don’t deliver from the left
Take your fist
And drive it straight through
Don’t stop when you connect
When you feel bone and tissue
Keep going

About a year later
There was an altercation, and I stepped
Between him fighting with another friend
And he threw a pussy witch
Cheap shot punch
That knocked my two front teeth out

I haven’t really talked to him since
But when I fight
I still use his advice when I throw a punch
It seemed to work.

fURRR

Look at me
If your reading this
Your looking at me
Im in a skinned fox whos
Around my neck
His legs at the back
Are draped behind my left shoulder
And his cute snout around my right

Im still not sure if this is real fur
Or faux
I look in his eyes
He tells me nothing
His snouts magnificent
I”ve chewed it

If anybody treated all the dead in
My family like
I treat this
Foxed out mother fucker

I’d be pro death

So heres to the earth worms
Who were the first to realize
Those fuck head
Song birds songs
Were whistles of death

Oh blue bird
And red winged black bird

Sing your heads off
Your lucky
You don’t fit around my neck

tALL CIGARETTES

My room mate moved out
I was sick with alcohol poisoning for the last three days
And when I came home on the second
There was a letter lodged in my apartment door
It said I was up for eviction

my room smelt of old spilled whisky
the pitcher full of cigarette butts
that had been tossed across the room
old socks from long days at work
my bathroom was filled with vomit
and blood from the alcohol poisoning

I can see why you’d want to get out of this
And I took my heavy head
And lay down on the bed
With the cigarette butts and spilt whiskey
Trying to keep whatever was in there
In there
In my head and in my stomach
All around me was madness
I didn’t want out
I lay there feeling right at home

And I was.

WHITE HEADS IN WHITE HOODS

Judas had an uncle
A tiger
And an aunt
A garden
Of dirty devil seeds
I don’t know religion
Inside or out
But I like the headlining words
Still jesus Christ
Means more then
Eviction notices
And unpaid hydro bills
To some
And im far from
for
The white heads in white hoods
But when the lights go out
I’d set a cross or anything made of wood
For that matter
On hot holy fire
Give me a bible
a lighter
And I’ll finally have somewhere to lay my
Weary hands
Take your white haired eagle head
And raise it to the sun
And let it burn your pupil
Through your gold rimmed monacle
Like an ant under the magnifying glass

Judas liked to wear womens underwear
And good ol grey god
Looked through the clouds
Licking his lips
And stroking neptunes
Trident
Humming blue moon
By bobby vinton
While all the good little girls go to school
And fantasize about rape

No truthspeaker ever
Spoke in verse
The bible
Perhaps
Is only a book
By a silver tongued devil
With mediocre punctuation

TIPSY GYPSY

When I was young
I used to shoot cap guns into my temple
I liked the way it made my mother squirm
My death was my only defense against
My family
I still use my death as my defense
But I do not know who I am defending myself
From anymore

CURVE BALL

We’d been up since the night before
It was around ten pm
The drugs had run dry
But the alcohol was going strong

All there was
Was a bottle of ephedrine
A pill that when enough is taken
It wakes you up
You pop them in your throat
And you can feel your hair grow on your head

I heard once there was a baseball pitcher
Who had a heart attack
From taking too many
So you know there good

When I was in the bathroom
Tony had poured about ten or fifteen pills
On the table,
He was crushing them up
He made them into a large pile of powder
And then using a card
He moved the massive pile
Into a curve
Almost like a nike swoosh

When I came out of the bathroom
He looked at me
And asked if I wanted to try the curve ball
I got down on my knees in front of the table
And put the entire curve of ef
Up my nose
My head cocked back
Trying to take it all in
Then I let out a laugh
And a huge cloud of powder smoke came out of my mouth

We went to the bar a little while later
I know i was wearing dark aviator sunglasses
And was completely out of my mind

At the bar, sitting on the stage
In front of the dance floor
Was vegas
a pal of mine
He had a broken ankle
And was sitting with his cane

I borrowed the cane
And began to dance around the floor maniaclly
With my dark aviators

Finally I began to use the cane as more of a crutch to keep myself up
I was dancing with a girl named renee
Cross eyed behind my aviators
We danced the night away

It takes a lot of alcohol
And I guess ephedrine
To get me on a dance floor
I’ve never been much of a dancer
Actually im amazing

Renees’ blond hair fell from the back of her head
And layed on my shoulder
Shes was smaller then me
And her body was perfect
Me with my glasses and cane
Hunched over
This delicate piece of snatch

The night came to a close and we headed for the door

And when we got outside we kissed a moment
Then she hopped into a cab and left me there

I didn’t see it coming for a second

It was a real curve ball.

CAPTain CLAW

Last night
Became
The second night in a row I could not sleep
I was sitting on the couch
As it usually is
With no sleep
Thinking about the many things there are to think about
And really being awake
Wasn’t that large of a deal
I had nothing to do later that
Day
As the clock continued to tick,
Coming up
On 6.45 am
No work

Really,
All I had to do
Was suck back the last of the soup
That was sitting in front of me
It was vegetable
And as I ate that healthy soup
I landed on a channel
With a kids show on it, about a lobster
Called captain claw
And his friend
Jared the jelly fish
And on the screen
there was captain claw
Gloatin his red ass away,
In his captains hat about the ship he had just built
ENTIRELY by him self
And true to his word
Appeared a massive boat
Just hovering on the water
Both jared the jelly fish and my eyes
Grew canyon wide
And will you believe it, this cocky captain claw
Had the adacity to jump right on deck
And start singing a song about that ship

And here I was, feeling low already
Not sure what I had done, or was going to do with my life
An d not only had this lobster bastard
Built an entire ship, he found time to write a song about it, and
get a performance down.

Though mad,
I must admit
the song was good
And I finished that bowl of vegetable soup
Slightly inspired to do something with my life
So I carried
The dirty bowl to the sink,
And washed it
Then placed it in the empty rack beside
The overflowing pit of dishes
I eyed that heap of fork and plate
And thought about diving in
With the scrub brush
Then I looked back to the bowl
I had just cleaned
And decided
That was enough
I wasn’t really that inspired
After all
It was just a childrens show

ALL THE WAY DOWN

What do I think
You ask yourself
Well I think
Fuck the beatles
Fuck the eagles, the doors
And bob Dylan fans
Have you seen john lennon in that
t.v. Special
give peace a chance
Laying in bed for change

Give me destruction
The thing that formed this universe
And when it comes for us, it
Will make way for new
Don’t smoke weed
Drink robutussin
And do it while driving at four am
Listening to CCR
After drinking whiskey all night
Start a riot in the street
After throwing a drink at a girls head
Because she stole your seat
And when she says fine you want it back
You say no
Now its covered in herpes
And that’s when you let the bottle go
Then two days later
Get maced at
Four pm
By a homeless lady
And Then later that night
In a fight on that very same street you started
the riot two days ago
Get your nose broken
in a golden twist of karma
But not before
Slapping the person with your shoe
the One you’d spray painted silver
And keep laughing
While you reset your nose
In a strange bathtub
To hold the blood
That strangely doesn’t come
Only to go home for Christmas
Two days later
still laughing
While that stupid turkey
Gets its ass stuffed
Don’t pick a side
Violence or peace
Pick humour
While
You gobble gobble
That turkey
All the way down
I guess what im saying
Is be more like me
Just do it somewhere else

VALentine

Today is valentines day
And it was my fourth day of school
I’d missed the first
And I did it with class
A beautiful girl in the bed
Beside me
And a line up my nose
But that was four days ago
And valentines day is now
My name is hart
But im here at my house
Reading about kris Kristofferson
And I wish I dreamed
A little more
Wanted more
And I’ve read
Many things in the past
Like how zz tops drummers name
Was joe beard
Even though he was the only one in the band
That was clean shaven
That fact
I know
From a golden souled
silver tongued sigethy
Well in that sense of magic
Kris kristoffersons first wifes name
Was fran beer
And for an alcoholic
That’s the most beautiful thing
I’ve read in years
He had eight children
And was my idol
is my idol
The silver tongued devil had to say nothing
Just do what he always does
Get me on through
These hard times
Because the beauty isn’t in the pedals
Its in the thorns
Its what you hold onto
Not what you give away
So heres to love
With love
Sincerely
hart

Tiger CREEp

A tiger crawls through the Indian reeds
Teeth barred, creeping almost like a CAT
Then it leaps
A lightly clad dark skinned worker
Is scalped
Just like that
That’s a pretty good Tuesday for a tiger

I haven’t eaten in two days

This is a pretty bad Tuesday

I wish I was filled with more spite,
I wish stealing seemed a better idea

This horned set of morals that flows through my veins
Makes me sick

And if there was anything in my stomach
I’d throw it up

Three days until pay day
And I need a drink

And a glowing women
Glowing like a glow stick
In a ravers hand
Up all night on strange drugs

Singing along to smokey robinson songs
Ripping roasted chickens from the bones
Getting grease stains on the sheets and her
Denim mini skirt on the ground

Her thighs exploding out
Those tight black underwear

Grease dripping from her mouth
And mine all over them

Lily white magic thighs

A fifth of whisky
A phone to call in sick to work
In the morning
And a hard on the size of a tigers tail

I want to bar my teeth and take whats mine
Take what I deserve

But I’ve barred my teeth before

And I think im finally getting what I deserve
Nothing…….
Well almost nothing

I do have a raging boner right now

GUARD RAIL

I remember when I was younger
Me my brother my step dad
And our dog went on a camping trip
Out to Algonquin park.
The only thing I remember about the trip
Is eating cotton candy ice cream

And on the drive back
The rain was coming down harder then I have ever
Seen it
The windshield wipers moved as fast as they could
But the drops were to big and to fast
And out the window it looked like a moving painting
Like water was falling apart so fast
That it was becoming solid and
But not like ice
Like a thick gel everywhere

The puddles were very deep on the high way
We were in the center lane goung 120
Beside the garter rail in the center
The rain was rising up the sides of the car
My brother was in the back seat
As we tried to make time so we could pull off at the next town
Or at least a gas station

Then everything stopped
And the car was almost floating

My step dad looked over
and it was sort of slow
as he yelled were hydroplaining

I looked out the window and ducked my head
Just as the left corner of our car smashed
Into the guard railing
Even now I think It would have looked beautiful
The rain was so blue and as it splashed it was like
Waves of white foam
And our white hatch back
Spinning like a ballerina
into the steel railing

It spun again and the back corner of the car
Hit the railing and we continued to spin
But the car was loosing steam
And gaining grip again and we eventually spun out of speed and were sitting
In the center of the high way
Facing the wrong direction
My step dad was sitting beside me
in the driver seat
Staring out into the street
He was too scared to look over
He said my name
I said yah…im fine
He asked me to look in the back
To make sure my brother was ok
So I did and saw his scared eyes
I guess he never even saw it coming
I said bri
He didn’t say anything
So I said it a little louder
I said are you ok?
He squeeked out a yes
Then I told my step dad he was fine
The dog too
And I told him we should probably get off the road
So we managed after some work to get the car to the side of the hi way
Only to see that strangely there was an auto body shop right there

Apparently there wasn’t one for miles
We went inside and called a tow truck

I always wondered why I had absolutely no fear
I think it was because I was finally close to death
It would have been a good trip

But like most things just when they get good
It all stops

BABYLON

hey you old hound dog
remember me
that crack inside your
fucking hart is me

marilyn manson said
that
pale faced

so

slit your wrists
your slits mediocre
crawl into bablyon
and babble on

and on
and on

NeaR BEAUTIFUL

I’d met her in a bar
She was far younger then me
And far better looking
She didn’t speak very much English
Sometimes I wonder if the language gap
Made my words sound more meaningful

After the bar she came back to my apartment
And I put my dazzling member
Into her like volts of electricity into ol Frankenstei

She left the next morning
And I talked to her Sunday
About three days later

We decided to meet at the subway station
Outside of my apartment
At six pm
It was five pm when I left the bar
That Sunday
When I got home
My roommate had left a forty of jack daniels
On the table

Maybe I was a little nervous
Most likely I was a full blown alcoholic
But I began to drink straight from the bottle
When she finally called up to let me know she was at the subway station
It was six ten pm
I was ready
I had put a good dent in the bottle
And was well and drunk

I came out of the apartment
And found her waiting on the corner
I walked up to her
And I put my whisky tongue
In her young mouth

I knew she could smell it
I knew she could taste it
And I’d like to be ashamed
And I’d like to think theres more to me then just alcohol
But its hard
Its hard to find a moment of soberness to dwell on these thoughts
And when I do
Then I truly know its time for a drink

As we finished that hot whisky drenched kiss
We began to walk up the street
Towards my apartment

I stole a glance in the window shop mirror
She was a vision of young beauty
Her hair played around in the wind

I was six foot two
And I noticed I had some liquor stains on my white shirt
Not through the window
But by looking down
White is always a bad choice

I felt old and horrible
And that night
Upstairs we made love
But as I began to drink more
I became more erradict
Until finally she left
We talked a couple times on the phone
But its hard to explain something in another language

We never did meet again

I still think back to that reflection in the mirror
With her next to me
My stained white shirt
And sour whisky smoke
With the steam from the subway
Blowing up around us on that montreal street

It may not have looked it
But I was near beautiful
That night

I was standing right beside it

SIDE LINE LYRICS

Dr. Doom (kool keith) - Sideline Lyrics

Yeah whats up whats up money
Its kool keith
You ever go to some girls house
And they act like they livin lavish
Two-thousand extreme with space chandeliers (space chandeliers)
I mean rugs
I mean just everything all over the carpet (yeah)
With updated nineteen seventy-five music playing
I pulling all your programs (all programs)
Thats right all you materialistic robots (robots)
Prepare

Verse one:
Yo I seen ya girl last night
Flat butt is wack, skinny hips
Bald head weave with the ashy lips
Wig in the back seat
With pay-less shoes on her feet
Dirty jeans
With mildew spots in the washing machine
Roommates with no place, babies crying, pissy pampers
Roaches and flies funky panties hanging out the hamper
Three big head boys, but ones got to go to school
Her youngest daughter hair braided, lookin like a fool
Empty refrigerator
Family chew up now an laters
No tv, just me there and im the mc
No gas, electric work
The house smell make my head hurt
Spots on the carpet,
Station wagon at the supermarket
With stamps on deck
With beads around this girls neck
I crack a forty ounce
Watch the ants, mouses bounces

Yeah yeah

Chorus: (x4)

I bring the ruckus straight from the sideline
The year two-thousand

Verse two:
Daisy dukes with stretch marks
Her hair back in a bun
Cookin pork and beans
Some stale franks in the sun
Kids aint listenin
Little dannys got a hard head
Bugs are crawlin
Cables all smell like pee in the bed
Old clothes aint clean
The bathroom scent is all toes
Athletes feet
No door mats with water off the street
Spraying the fungus
The living room is humongus
School lunch on the floor
Baby vomit atomic, raviolis
With an old bowl of guacamole, capn crunch
No milk, chase it with some fruit punch
Dishwashing liquid
Cups of grease
I aint tryin to get whipped
Straightening combs, I think
Hair is all over the sink
Tampons in the garbage can
The house is hot
Rent no fan
Air condition is doomed
With blunt smoke is in the room
Fix all your nose snot rags
Pouring cheerios
No toilet tissue
Baby wipe, your mom left a missile
Acting fly I scoped a monkey
With my human eye
Dead up Im serious
The meatloaf aint got me curious
Dry turkey wings on the couch
The cat ate everything
You think you livin
Tryin to dress up like robin givens

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Chorus: (x4)

Verse three:
No bills are paid
Just cabinets packed full with kool-aid
Wonder bread I throw back
Just missed over ya head
Sardines with old shrimp
Tuna fish is ludicrous
Idaho potatoes
A bag full of spoilt tomatoes
Neighbors borrow, send the kids over need sugar
Little tonikas at the door her face full of boogers
Colt forty-five on the table
A six pack of miller
Fake barbecues
Honeys walk around like gorillas
Stretch marks in action
Stomach bumps look like mumps
Popeyes chicken on the stove
With the puppy lickin
Everybody watching black and white tube tonight
No color intentions
Plastic bag hair extensions
I grab a record from rick
Play the fifth dimensions

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Chorus: (x4)

CALCULUS

It was Tuesday
And it was seven
And I was watching porn on my computer
It was this one where this guy is at a party
And hes got this hammer
And this eight teen year old is riding it to the high heavens

And the crowd is going wild
Well she squirms
the humper smiles
And the crowd cheers

Well about half way in a girl shows up
Wearing a shirt that says mommas little girl
And she looks ok, skinny
Blonde
And they all have accents but im not sure from where
Maybe texas, it sounded like it had a slight southern twang

And the crowd is yelling suck his dick

And shes all smiles a beer in hand
And that mommas girl shirt on her chest
So out comes that big hammer
And she gives it a good thirsty thirty second suck
Comes up for air
Taking a big sip from her drink
Laughing
As the crowd cheers
Now it isn’t long till the cameras off her
And back on the girl getting slammed
And this girl is getting it
Moaning the moon out
Making the wolves feel silly

But ol blondie liked the attention
She wants back on camera

The crowd starts yelling
Lick her asshole
Lick her asshole

The chant is building
So she leans down
And lays the lick out

The crowd again goes wild
She pulls up happy
As easter
The second coming of jesus.

Then she looks down at the moaning girl
And looks at the camera
Or maybe it was the camera mans eyes shes was looking
At
And exclaims
about ol slam head
We take calculus together

Well school is full of suck ups
Now it has an ass licker

Hail to the future
The future of math and science

SHarK WaTER

There was a documentary on
A few days ago
On the mighty mighty
Shark
And it said
That before even the dinosaurs
The big toothed bastards
Swam our great oceans
Our great toothy fathers
Before the hills and mountains
Climbed out of the sea
One peak at a time
Like some old disheveled
Wrinkled
Man out
Of the tub
They were our true fathers
They are
The fathers
Of industry
The fathers of fornication
Pro creation
All that is left
Of humanities first kisses
And the shark
Is getting its
Ass wiped out
Right now
Rogue fisherman
And all the other
Fin fuckers
Still the fear
Reigns supreme
As our fathers bloodied corpses
Sink to the sand
And the fear
Is this magnificent beast
They say
Lies in the horror stories
Put out by the media
The spectacle
That is jaws
Its haunting music
And that big
Biting mother fuckers mouth
But on
This
I disagree
Full hartedly
We are a nation
Of people
With father issues
And so it seems
Either cowering
From gods hands
Or the sharks bite
We fear our fathers
And the psychiatrists
You hire to fix your problems
Share
Your same mis guided fears
And it seems
The only ones who truly
Understand
These fishy bastards
Are indeed
The other fish
Swimming along side
Sucking ticks off there
Backs
Sharing
The plankton
So fucking
Harmonious
And the only answer
To our everyday problems
Will not be solved
Until the next time
You fork 200 dollars
Or quid
Or euros
To sit in a room
With dr Schwartz
Dr beakman
Dr laventa
Or whomever
Is a big scaly fish
His glasses low
Under his eye
Spitting as he talks
His scales
Glistening in the halogen light
And the gorgeous tale
Flapping all over the fuckin place
And he’ll finish the session
Telling you
To get the fuck over it
And leap out the office window
His money tucked
Nicely behind a mid section scale
And land in his convertible
Black bmw
Roof down
Of course
And race onto the road
Gulping up the wind
With a nice
Pop
Pop
Sound
Down to the casino
Where he’ll put it all on black
Then put it all in
What ever piece of fish tail
He can get his educated fins
on

PLAY

sunday
monday
tuesday
wednesday
thursday
friday
saturday

i dont play

MERCURY
What a fucking long bus trip
I’ve done it a million times
Its eight hours
From montreal to London
The hangover
Seems to be the same
Both ways
But really the truth
Of the matter is
I don’t mind the bus
I’d rather sit
And listen to my own music
Or read for eight hours straight
With some alcohol
Tucked away in my bag
Then sit
In some god forsaken office
Or working these pokers
To the bone
On some assembly line
It was half way through the trip
And everyone went out
For there food
Tim hortons
Tim hortons
That hockey players
Corpse
Was worth a trillion
Bucks
All that money
While your bones rot
A real
Slap shot to the old
Fuckin face

My stomach was uneasy to say the least
As the people came pililng on
Each with a sandwich
Goddamn
It smelt like menstrating fishes
Tuna
Tuna
TUNA
Every single last one of them
Seemed to have that small town
Tuna
In there palms
The whole of the bus
Was drowned in the stench
And don’t get me
Wrong I like tuna
But not now
Not like this
I listened to them
Shovel the fat fish
Into there fat mouthes
Slurping gobbling
And giggling
I pictured all that mercury
In there blood
Swimming around
Im not sure what mercury exactly
Does to the human body
But I hoped it
Was doing it ten fold
To these people
And speaking of mercury
Have you heard
The Vatican
Has embraced
The idea of space, of aliens
Of it all
I mean really
The church and reason pairing
Had gone out the window eons ago
But the one thing you could count on
With the church
Was its beast headeness
Unwilling to back down
No matter the facts, and in its own
Way that was all that I could respect
About the blasted religion
Well jesus hung
On that cross
And im sure it wasn’t long
Till the flesh
Began to fall from bone
To the hot sand
Food for insects
While the salamanders
Sucked that bloody wine on out
And down
And I’ll give the long haired
Preacher one thing
He lasted a long time
Till his back bone
Finally
gave out

NO HEAT HOT WATER

Going through papers
In my room
I found a stack
From the seven months
When I had no hydro
Or even keys to my house
I left the window open a crack
And lived by cancle light
I had a clock radio
That ran on 9 volt batteries
It was a strange time
I had no paper
So everything was written
On a fire walk with me
Script
That I had for some reason
In a black ass magic marker

THE NOTES.

“I do cocaine with a broken nose, no problem”

“Fuck the octopus
Fuck that eight legged piece of shit
What the fuck are those things
Even there for
There not even legs
That piece of shit
Cant even grow legs
Fuck the octopus
Fucker ————————–

Reality
Beastiality
Necrophilia
Have you ever heard of
arborphilia.

That’s when someone cant stop humping trees
Im not sure if its just
One
Or a whole fields worth
Talk about barking
Up the wrong tree
Hhahahahahaahaeha
Ah
But I digress
Let me branch off onto
Another subject
Hahahahahahahaha
Fuck you

MY DADDY WAS AN ASTRONAUT

“my daddy was an astronaut
That’s what I was often taught
My daddy went away too soon
Now hes living on the moon
Hang on to me people
Were going down”

NICK CAVE from the GRINDERMAN album

Well I hear things wrong
What I hear and what relates to me
Is

my daddy
Was a rocket ship
and He took off

His name was doug
And I don’t want to dig too deep into it
hilarious

His last name was Grant
And so was mine
The first few years at least
GRANT
GRUNT
RUNT
CUNT
There are more last names
And more fathers
And more problems
After and before
But name wise
now its HART
and always will be
And I write and try to make films
Searching for
Some sort of
goddamned GRANT
hilarious

My father was a space bound metal ship
Whats your daddy done

And to be honest
If its worth anything
I don’t give a whisky soaked shit
About it

As ODB said
bitch
Give me my money

How little I care
My grey brain
Wrapped around itself
Like twisted metal
in a highway #1 smash hit
The real thoughts within

And the thoughts of that
Nasa rocket that squirted me out
are red glowing bulbs of blood

Resting condensation on the outskirts
Of my metal mind

I tilt this aluminum can of carling
All the way
Back
My fathers in outer space
And like father like son
Im a space cadet
Im spaced the fuck out
I need more drugs
More everthing
Riding a collapsed pine tree
Down a river of robotussin
Over the counter
And out of this world

I’ll get all the way to space one day
To spit grape flavored tussin DM
in that rocketships eyes
I only fear what im leaving behind
To get there.
And perhaps
Hope
My fears were once his
And now his remorse

But like father like son
Unreliable
And…………….well I don’t know much more
About him
But I could talk about my own problems for days
But space is waiting
Menthol flavored

And fermented mountain water
beckons

Well rocketships dock or explode
While space stands strong
And space I am
And you
You are my co pilot
My space cadet
Ive moved on
I am the black hands
That hold the stars
And toss the comets
Across the anti gravity
Waves
That the silver surfer
Rode
The hands
That light the sun at six am
With a silver zippo lighter
Engraved with the words
Cunt on the WEST side
And HART on the EAST side
Depending how and where I hold it
The lightning is me howling
At the moon
And only the wolves call back
And then
I whistle
And drown with the loons
In the blackness of the water

Fuck B.C.
You hippy cunts.

BARLEY FIELDS

Every day on the subway Is like hell
And I have to sit in these rooms
Full of people
I don’t like
Doing work
I hate
You grow to hate everything around you
And soon the hate starts creeping in
Like hungry fruit flies
buzzing

well you winged twits
wheres my buzz

People pop there little fucking pills
Happy time bullshit
Supposed to wash reality away

But the tide always comes in
Barring its flushing teeth

Alcohol
One fucking drink
And I could deal with this shit

But a pill popper is part of life
And an alcoholic
Belongs some where down
The dogs throat

So I get home
And buy beer
Lots of it
And I drink
Lots of it

And it starts to feel ok
Bearable, not so hopeless
Putting the memories of the day away
And the ideas of the future on tap

But just when It feels good
You know the bosses and the feathered pillows
Want your tipsy head

That’s why I cant sleep
Because the times im supposed to
Suck my soul under cover
are when It wants to roar

And that’s why I don’t feel hangovers
Because soon everyone will realize
There warped
Jarring teeth
In there puffed up ground pork heads
And Their small
Vile conversation
About weather
Are worse
Then any field of barley could
Dare to bring upon me

AfriCA 911

I prank called
Africa last night with
A girl out on a makeshift boat
Patio
My friend had just fucked her on the stairs
In the back
I got the answering machine
In Africa
So I left a quote from a mickey Avalon song
My dick like the rumble in the jungle
Your dick got touched by your uncle
Perhaps a strange
Message to leave in Africa
But we both laughed until the boat
Rocked
As her knees
Bled

There are rumors flying around
That the queen
Gives good head
But a couple nights ago
She made the mistake
Of leaving Seinfeld on the television
As she went to town
On a strange polish knob
One of the butlers
I presume
It was the episode where they all go to an apartment
To watch the parade
Only jerry isn’t invited
but he goes
Its at watleys house
The dentist
So there watching the parade
And there goes woody wood pecker
And Kramer points out how
Hes a trouble maker
Anyway jerry knocks a statue I believe
Off the ledge
It pops that pecker and watley
Says who invited you anyway
You’re a trouble maker
And jerry lets out a half hearted woody woodpecker laugh
Well at that moment
That’s when the polish butler came
Right into the queens mouth
Right on time with the joke
She broke down laughing as the yaz
Bloomed down her throat
It poured from her nose
And mouth
As the laughter came
She began choking
On the floor, the pole
Quickly ran behind giving her the Heimlich maneuver
As she choked on the cum
It dribbling out her nose
He had planned to get her from behind
But not like this
He pulled up under her abdomen
Her large sagging
Breasts shaking
Like confused trees in a hurricane
Then it snapped
The chunk of yaz
Mixed with saliva went soaring across the room
Landing on the t.v.
Right on elaines
Face
The queen lay on the ground
A shriveled embarrassed
Pile of royalty
The polish butler watched the yaz drip down Elaine and the
Queens face
Two for one
Not bad

What about princess dick suck
Roaming the streets so big on herself
She was no queen
But far more professional
When it came to matters of the penis
Roaming through new Orleans
Streets
Pre hurricane
Proclaiming from the corners
Im princess dick suck
I fucked
An Ox
An ostrich
Joe Namath
Hercules’ stunt double
And fisted mother Teresa
A very flexible
Snapper
Mmmm magnificent

She’d raise her glass
In the bars saying
This ones
For ginas
Vagina
But it came out more like this
With her accent
Fa’ ginas
Vagina
What it meant know one knows
Perhaps it just sounded funny to her
It did to most
She wasn’t easy
Very picky about what made her strange
List
Of exploits
To join the ranks of her
Royal ins and outs

And I almost forgot about the case of the pope
So the story goes
He had been dreaming
About dinosaurs
Roaming the land
He awoke
At full mast
A strange sensation given
The material
But caught up in the moment
He didn’t think twice
As he quickly fastened together
A dinosaur sock puppet
And began yanking at the holy member
So unused
he was on his knees on the ground
his head tilted sky ward
roaring
like one of the ancient
beasts
as the dinosaur sock puppet
picked up speed
faster and faster
and…..
then he collapsed
unsure what it all meant
he lay on the ground
the puppeted hand to his side
and just like that
it was over

DINK NEGLECT
Her soul was
Swollen
With things that
didn’t concern her
like
That halo
Earth
Called an atmosphere

Her hair was so frizzy
I always thought
Crush Earths ego
Hair spray
My little lady
I know a barber
Down in London
He has
Good sense
And is good with the scissors

She didn’t eat meat
But her body
Swelled
Fat in the tummy

And how

And although
She refused
Parts of life
She couldn’t stop
Taking
From the parts she accepted

While the turkey roasted
She babbled

And I suppose
It wasn’t her soul
That was swollen
With caring

But her ego

Peoples need to make a difference
Is so strange
And ungenuine

Dolphins will die
And sharks
Although not as pretty
Their fins
Fetch a high price
And people will lobby
Against the fishermen

But it’s the purchasers
That run the industry

Death is a great part of life
Otherwise
What would be the point of doing
Anything

And I suppose I lost my way

The swollen soul
As she’d see it
Or ego
As I would

Well
She was so filled with compassion
But it was so hard
To get a decent blow job
And to have a pretty mouth
And not suck
Dick
Is a sin
Against man
This man

And
that’s not very giving

Jungle panthers
Are croaking
The world over

And you can yap
Young lady
Pub
To pub

And im sure
You hate your mothers
Blood soaked
Diamond ring

But the dying die
And you and me
Are the living

don’t save the fallen
Save the standing
In a kneeling position

And trying to
Save what you cant
Will leave you proud
And unaccomplished

But those lips
Opening wide
Can change something
On this earth

Change the way the next poem
Comes

Because if you
Breathe through your nose
The next one
Will
Paint a picture of you
So golden
And magical

And looking
Good

isn’t that
What its all
about

DRE

i dont believe in religion
but if i did
i’d say something
like this

sweet angels
on golden chariots
lift up your wings
for it is the fallen
who truly
need you
let them not die in vain
if it
must be in haste

D

R

E

fuck.
what the fuck
it still
tears me up

hennesy and extacy

“Yo, man, what are you on? You are acting kind of strange.
You are a real party animal like that cat Rick James.”

WEEPING WILLOW

they say
if you follow the rules now
you can make your own later

but their wrong

for
if you bend now
you’ll spend the rest
of your life
a weeping willow

in a backward bow
under
the winds of conformity
your spine
jelly and mucas

till finally you fall
a wilted version of
what once was
laying
with the dying
yellowed grass

and the winds
gaining speed

B L A K C

I see a red door
And I want to paint it black
No colors anymore
I want them to turn black
Yes Mick
Black, black
Black
Black
Until everyone and everything
Disappears
And it is outer space
finally
Black
Everything disappears
The fuck damned censors
Trying to kill something
Then still fuck it
The government
The crooked broken morals
Steered by steeds
With minds built
In the baby tit fuck church
The money hungry banks
The layers of stone rising upwards
Until its impossible to get
To the base of the foundation
Because the foundation
Is where the fight is

The stained silver spoon
Passed down
With rules
As solid as the hungry goals
So many steel solid
Mechanical fucks
Not ready to stick
Their pinky fingers
Into the socket
And become the final robots
They will breed

I want it all black

And finally when black

An asteroid
Will smash into my skull
And out will explode
A never ending supply of alcohol
All my friends
Women with lips
As big as their minds
Goddamned gigantic
No leaders or enemies
To stomp their
Dirty boots
On the final pieces
Of my broken membrane
And soul

But until then I have to remember
Robots will bring the inevitable future
And the inevitable future
Is death

Lets get sexy
In the galaxy
With your new york taxi
Colored hair

Baby, remember
Blondes do have more fun

If their with me

TRAIN TALES OF THE 33RD DIMENSION

I took the train to toronto yesterday, wrote a few songs and a few poems and a short script, get ready motherfucker if you have the time and the spine.

SONGS:

SNAKES

My veins
Are snakes
When I pierce
I feel them bite

I’ve been doing
Drugs all day
And been up
All night

It aint perfect
But its
My life

Im the wolf
Dodging under
Street light

While the sheep
Sleep at night

Baby
I do wrong
All night long
But im always
right

HUMMING BIRDS BEAR ME

I wear
A cape of skin
And
My
Drapes
Made of eyes

Where my bones
Lie
Is where
I’ll rise

And when
The humming bird sings
I’ll break
Its pretty little wings

Bulletin babe
Im bad news
Theres no one
Left for me to use

Hot
Off the press
I am all
That I have left

You can go to Waco
And shake your body parts
Away with the wind
Sonny jim.

SUZIES ON IT

Suzies on
The old piano
That don’t play

Dancing
Her life away

Dust moves
In the light
To her
Rhythm

Ice
In the lowball glasses
Makes a perfect
Little jingle

Motor
In parking lot
Revs twice
For trouble

Suzie
One day you’ll come down
And when you do
I will tell you
I love you

NIXED FROM SONG

Suzie dances
To suzie q
Q’s for question
And the answer is
I do

ALL THE LITTLE PIECES

You gotta
Make your bed
You gotta scrub that floor
Till your hands burn red

You better
Scrub those dishes
Till the glass
Shines clean
If you break
A cup
Cut your arm
Times 3

Of all the little pieces

Smile
For the guests
Under moon
You can grind your teeth till they crack

Dreams
Are for the sleepers
And sleepings
For the dead

And remember
My precious darling
Don’t forget
To make your bed.

POEMS:

RECIP(E

Today
Im one part
Flamingo brand
Turkey
Or dinde
As they say in French land
One strip processed cheese
On an English muffin
One part
Nicotine stained
Fingers
Guiding
A menthol
Cigarette
To my pursed lips
A mind
Heavy
With bad ideas and intentions
And zero regrets

Theres some tooth cream
(the toothpaste
Ran out)
I stole
In the street
One night
While a pharmacy stocked up
In the back
It wasn’t
A good score

Im a belly yearning for water
But
Full of alcohol

Im a tipsy
Button downed
Clad
Mad man

Im lost
Hoping never
To be found

Im what no one wants to be
And what
No one ever
Can be

Im two parts trouble
And one part reason
And
Im
ALL
HART

VIVA SWINE FLU

The law
Has become
A capatilist venture
Perhaps it always was
The slick hair
Suited salesmen
Get rich
Off swine flu
While the pigs
Manning the borders
Work their porky fingers
Making
What seems to be magic
A series of little
Tricks
That
Leave you bent
Touching your toes
That’s when the pigs
Fuck you
Rape time

They crow
At the top
Of their lungs
Reptilian
Like snapping turtles
With Janis Joplins
Voice box
They use
Some of the bacon fat
To grease you up
And then
They violate you
They rape
And if you argue
If you dare
They put you in jail
Where
The raping continues
Until you see it
Johnny laws way
Frankie serve and protects way
Lucky louies long arm of the laws way
Jodie justices way
And all the
Other catholic cunts
Names
You can think
And then some others
WAY

SHEEP

I don’t really
Know my father
But I do remember
His father was a cop
And so were all his
Brothers
He played music
And did
Woodworking
He was the black sheep
Well if hes a black sheep
Im a fucking Neon Wolf.

script:

THICKET BLUES

Characters:
ROBBIE THICKET
JANEY
EARL “the squirrell” GRAY
FRIEND

SCENE 1: EXT, CHILDRENS PLAYGROUND: MID DAY
A phone conversation between two people, One Earl the Squirrell Gray, is at home, the other, Robbie thicket is on the street, some light traffic, and a school yard in the background where kids play. Both Shots are medium close ups.

A phone rings, earl the squirrell looks at name and answers.

Earl the squirrell gray

“If it isn’t Robbie motherfuckin Thicket”

Robbie thicket

“My man, Earl the squirrell Gray”
(said in a slightly unenthusiastic tone)

Earl

“whats happenin my man”

Robbie

“things aren’t good”

Earl

“ohhhhhhhh noooo”

Robbie

“No squirrell, there not, it’s Janey, she left me”
(earl nods head)
“I mean, its over. No explanation, just like that…BAMMM
And the bitch is gone.”

Earl

“You treated her good Robbie”

Robbie

“damn good”

Earl

“damn good”

Robbie

“Man, I cant get her out of my mind, those perfect
Tits, man, that snapper
(Robbie makes slurp noise)
That’s where its at squirrell, that things
A work of fucking beauty

Earl

“I knowwww, I’ve seen the pictures”

Robbie

“damn straight”

Earl

“so whats next”

Robbie

“fuck if I know, get back on the horse
And ride over the hills, dragging my dripping
Hart behind, I guess.”

Earl

“that’s my boy”

(A second friend walks into robbies frame, as though hes
Been listening the whole time)

Robbie

“Anyway squirrell
(makes squirrell noises with mouth)
I gotta jet”

Earl

“rock and roll thicket, rock and roll”

Robbie

“Au revoir”

(Robbie snaps phone shut)

Friend

“Who was that you were talking about, sounds
Like a prime fuckin piece”

Robbie

“my neice, and she was”

(Both characters turn to camera and yell joyously)

Friend/Robbie

“INCEST IS THE BESSST”

(Earl pumps fist in air and yells, YAHHHH)

(Friend and Robbie walk off frame as we continue to watch children play
In the background, the childrens voices increasing in volume)

FIN FUCKER.

ACTING

Actors always want to know, how is it all going to work out? I don’t know,. Where does it lead? I don’t know that either. The actor has to make a decision. I hate control. I’m not a leader. I’m only happy where there’s total confusion, where people function on their own level. You don’t know what’s going to happen.

So the question is, at what point do I reveal whats going to happen? My system is never reveal it! My system is to create as much confusion as I possibly can so the actors have the full knowledge that they’re on their own, that there is nothing I’m ever going to tell them, ever, at any point in the thing. Except if somebody would say, ‘I think I’m going to far,’ I would disagree with them. Or if somebody would say, ‘Let’s take a break,’ I would disagree with them, You know?

“John Cassavetes”

QUIRKY TURKEY

This is what i do, when bored at parents house. Turn a ridiculous conversation with a pal on messenger into a song.
I sometimes make myself laugh so much.
it gets weird.

QUIRKY TURKEYS
(written by Owain Harris and Hart)

Turkeys
I tear their feathers off
and rape their souls
they have bad attitudes

I put a wobble
in their gobble
on the scope
to steal their feathered hope
i eat their wings
while watching lord of the rings
cause I got a thing
for a lady with a wing

when i was one
and my dad was thirty,
i watched the old man
fuck his first turkey
i’ve been fucking with turkeys
ever since
if your a turkey,
better keep your distance
cause im on the prowl for fowl
to put a kink in their dinks
skate on their throats
like a fucking skating rink
then put em on ice
thanksgiving this year,
gonna be real nice

When I was twelve
I first heard prince
Better believe
i’ve been fucking with turkey’s ever since,
when I fuck a small one
it makes me wince
I fuck em till im purple
Then wash
In the waters of lake menatonka
I fuck a turkey
Real longa

Yo homie
This is no bologna
Turkeys getting fucked
Getting fucked
Real dirty
When a turkey
Doesn’t love me back
It really hurts me

Cause I love em so much
And I kill what I love
Please turkey
Love me back

Catch me at home
Drunk and alone
Waiting with a tear
By the telephone
For ET
To call home
ET to me
Means Exquisuite turkey
The phone don’t ring
Exquisite Turkey Hurt me
And I cry
Like a child
But I have to accept
That that turkey is wild

But I know the game
And so does the turkey
Im going to fuck its brains out
And kill it

The lord
Wills it.

For real
Peace.

(I am the sanest man alive, hahahahahaha)

THE CHURCH OF LATTER DAY TROUT coming soon.