Boozy chimp sent to rehab

Fri Feb 26, 11:23 AM

MOSCOW (Reuters) - A Russian chimpanzee has been sent to rehab by zookeepers to cure the smoking and beer-drinking habits he has picked up, a popular daily reported on Friday. An ex-performer, Zhora became aggressive at his circus and was transferred to a zoo in the southern Russian city of Rostov, where he fathered several baby chimps, learned to draw with markers and picked up his two vices.

“The beer and cigarettes were ruining him. He would pester passers-by for booze,” the Komsomolskaya Pravda paper said.

It added he has now been transferred to the city of Kazan, about 500 miles east of Moscow, for rehabilitation treatment.

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The chimp began drawing, banging tons of chimp chicks, drinking and smoking?  Don’t send him to rehab, send him to my place.  That’s all I’ve ever looked for in a person.  That they were a chimp and partied.  I’m sending a letter to the Russian consulate.

They often say when an animal acts out, it is simply acting out of its nature.  That killer whale that offed the trainer is being defended as acting out of simple animal instinct.  Who’s to say that these Chimps actions aren’t part of its true nature.  For when your surroundings are changed, your instinct must adapt as well.  His real problem seems to be that hes locked in a fucking Russian zoo after spending years working under the whip in a circus.  Let the man have a few drinks, bang a few out, draw some strange pictures and suck on a little nicotine.

Here’s to you Zhora.  Rip those fiends fucking heads off.